


Tabula Rasa

by ashleighjane



Series: Keeping Score [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleighjane/pseuds/ashleighjane
Summary: She was bored, and when Alex was bored she thought too much. All she could think of at that moment was that whatever she had with Maggie would never work. It would never work, because she had fucked it up the moment she had kissed Maggie the first time. She knew that Maggie had only just been broken up with, and yet she did it anyway, with no real cue that it was what Maggie had wanted. She had been selfish. She had been so stupid to think that just because Maggie had finally returned her kiss that everything would be okay. She had to apologise, she realised. She had to clear the air.





	

Alex paced around in her apartment, wine glass in one hand, television remote in the other. She clicked the channel over, then sighed and turned the television off completely when she saw that it was another sappy Christmas movie. She sauntered over to the sofa, stumbling a little, wine splashing over the rim of the glass onto her shirt. She was thankful for the fact that ninety percent of her wardrobe was black. She glanced at the wine, wondering if she had had enough, but just shrugged. She was past the point of no return and might as well continue.

She flopped down onto the sofa, in an undignified manner, spilling more wine. She took a large swig from the glass before placing it down on the coffee table. She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, sighed, and leaned back. She was bored, and when Alex was bored she thought too much. All she could think of at that moment was that whatever she had with Maggie would never work. It would never work, because she had fucked it up the moment she had kissed Maggie the first time. She knew that Maggie had only just been broken up with, and yet she did it anyway, with no real cue that it was what Maggie had wanted. She had been selfish. She had been so stupid to think that just because Maggie had finally returned her kiss that everything would be okay. She had to apologise, she realised. She had to clear the air.

She leaned forward and grabbed her phone from the table. She fumbled around with the keys, it taking way longer than it should have for her to find Maggie's number in the contacts. She was about to press call, then decided to send a text instead. This wasn’t a conversation to be had over the phone. ‘ **Hry, Sawyer. We need to talk can you cme over?** ’

Alex nervously waited for a reply. She didn’t have to wait long, only five minutes, but that five minutes felt like an eternity. She jumped when her phone beeped, signalling that a message had been received. She scrambled to pick it up, dropping it in the process. “Crap.” She muttered as she picked it up and read the message. ‘ **Yeah, sure. Hey, you okay?’**

Alex decided not to reply to the text because, no, she was not okay. She was so very far from okay. She sniffled, then lifted a hand to wipe away a tear. She wondered, not for the first time, why she continued to drink wine when it always had that effect on her. She realised it wasn’t the wine that upset her. She just always reached for wine when she was upset.

There was a sharp knock on the door. Alex, having spaced out a little, didn’t know how long Maggie had taken to get there. Alex walked to the door slowly. She was hesitant, realising too late that asking Maggie over had been a mistake.

Alex swung the door open and stepped back to let Maggie in.

Maggie stormed in, arms folded, with a thunderous look on her face. Her expression softened when she took a look at Alex’s worried face. “What’s wrong, Danvers? Where’s the dead body?”

Alex slammed the door shut. “Don’t do that.” She snapped. “Don’t try to make everything a joke.”

Maggie raised her eyebrows. “You know what? I didn’t drag my ass over here at one in the morning to be spoken to like a piece of crap.” She reached towards the handle of the door, but Alex gently took hold of her hand and pulled it away.

“Sorry.” She dropped Maggie’s hand, then lowered her head slightly and pinched the bridge of her nose before looking back at Maggie. “I’ve been,” Her eyes darted towards the half empty wine glass, and Maggie’s own gaze followed.

“You’ve been drinking.” Maggie sighed and took hold of Alex’s hand and lead her over to the sofa. “Sit.”

Alex followed Maggie’s instructions, and Maggie sat next to her.

“So, what do we need to talk about?”

“I wanted to apologise.” Alex mumbled, suddenly realising how dumb she sounded.

“What for? I thought we were cool.”

“We’re not cool.” Alex said sharply. “We will never be cool. I made sure of that.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Maggie said softly. Alex found her voice soothing, but didn’t believe the words.

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”

“I thought we’d established I was kinda into that.” Maggie grinned, then pushed a piece of Alex’s hair out of her face and gently drew a finger down her jawline.

Alex froze for a second, her thoughts becoming even less clear at Maggie’s touch. “I knew your ex had only just broken up with you. I took advantage of you. Then when I thought you didn’t feel the same, I was an ass. I’m sorry I was such an ass.” Alex sobbed, knowing that she had ruined everything before anything had even started.

Maggie laughed. “That’s what you’ve been so worried about? Jesus, Alex, you didn’t take advantage. I lead you on. I never meant to, but I did. Hey,” Maggie placed her hand over the top of Alex’s, which Alex had rested on her own knee. “Did I ever tell you why my ex broke up with me?”

“Oh, um, something, something, you’re a sociopath?” Alex gave a small smile, somewhat relieved that Maggie hadn’t decided to just leave.

“She never called me a sociopath. That was just a joke. A _really_ bad joke. Anyway, the real reason we broke up was you.”

“I’m sorry, what? I met her for like two seconds.”  
“It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I talked about you all the time. ‘Oh, you know Alex, we’re playing pool later. For once, I’m gonna kick her ass.’”

Alex snorted. “Never gonna happen.”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “‘Oh, you know Alex, isn’t that jacket she wears awesome?’”

Alex nodded “It is awesome.”

Maggie sighed. “I’m not saying this to give you a big head, you know. Anyway, the last one was ‘Oh, you know Alex, is it okay if I invite her over for drinks on Saturday?’”

“You never invited me over for drinks.”

“That would be because the reply was ‘Oh, you know Alex, why don’t you just fuck her already?’”

“Seriously?” Alex cleared her throat and looked away, embarrassed.

“Seriously.” Maggie laughed, and laid her head on Alex’s shoulder. “She realised I was into you before I realised I was into you.”

There was a few moments of peaceful silence, before Maggie spoke again. “You didn’t take advantage. I was acting like some kid who had a crush, and you responded to that. When I said we were just friends, I was being stubborn. I didn’t want to prove her right. And then I didn’t leave you alone. I kept trying to be your friend, even though I know how much it sucks when someone you like says they don’t like you in that way. You had every right to be an ass, so I won’t hold it against you. I’m sorry I rejected you how I did, and I hope you can forgive me.” Maggie bit her lower lip, looking fragile and vulnerable. Everything hung on Alex’s next words.

“Tabula rasa.”

“What?”

“It’s Latin for blank slate.”

“Cool. But after tonight, we start keeping score?”

“Hell yeah.” Alex laughed, then lowered her head, grinning. She felt like a child. But perhaps that what she needed. At work she had to be so tough. Sometimes she had to be cold. Sometimes it really felt as though the world was on her shoulders. She needed someone that allowed her to feel vulnerable, but also safe.


End file.
